Yeah, it's not going so well. Unless I reeeally start reading this summer, there's no way I can get my 50 books in. My problem lately is that my attention is so divided -- one night I want to knit, the next I want to read, so I read part of one book, but then I decide I want to read a different book, so I pick up a different book, and then I decide I don't feel like reading that one...
I'm also drawing, making videos, responding to emails, I already mentioned knitting, oh, and I've become completely addicted to Doctor Who (but now I'm caught up and there won't be any new episodes till 2010, so that's over...)
Plus going to class, attempting to complete at least half of the homework for each class, and I enjoy sleeping in...
Basically, I am full of excuses.
I have been reading, just not the same book for any decent period of time. But here are the books that I've started:
-Citizen Girl
-I Was Told There'd Be Cake
-Sex, Drugs, & Cocoa Puffs
-21 Proms
-YouTube Book
-Slaughterhouse Five
-An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England
-The Year of Living Biblically
-Obama's Challenge
-The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing
-Paint it Black
-Rant
So you see, it's just a matter of sticking with any one book for more than one night. If I can do that, I may still pwn this challenge. Oh, and there was another book I read that I never wrote a review for... I don't remember what it was. I'll find it eventually, I suppose.
Maybe it was Citizen Girl. Did I finish that? Hm... *wanders away to check for a bookmark* Nope, I still have about 50 pages to go. Drat... what book, what book... OH!!!
No wonder I forgot! The book I read is not on my bookshelf, because the one and only Alan Lastufka lent it to me and I gave it back in the beginning of February.
Someone remind me, and the next time I post, I will write a review of Snuff, by Chuck Palahniuk.
Love
Monica
PS - Things are good. I'm not completely satisfied, but I'm happy. ^_^
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
It's been a while. A lot has happened.
...none of which is going on this blog. Some of the highest highs and the lowest lows and the most awkward of awkward conversations and just...
the next step is risky,
but I kinda wanna take it anyway.
I just gotta wait.
the next step is risky,
but I kinda wanna take it anyway.
I just gotta wait.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
The Mountains of Tibet
I just re-read The Hundred Dresses, a book that was given to me at my 9th birthday party. It’s cute. On the back, it says “$4.95 US, [Higher in Canada]”. Which made me laugh.
Reading children’s books always reminds me of the one book that I feel like I can honestly say changed the way I perceived the world, as a child. It’s called, The Mountains of Tibet, and it was written and illustrated by Mordicai Gerstein.
[I just took a break to see if I could email this author and ask for permission to read his book on YT and possibly make a flash video, but all I’m seeing are his agents. I will look into this further. I’ve been wanting to do this since before I knew what YouTube was.]
The Mountains of Tibet is a story about a woodcutter who has always dreamed of visiting faraway places, but never left his valley. He dies, and he is given the opportunity to either go to heaven, or choose to live another life, any life, anywhere in the universe.
He chooses to live another life, and through the course of the book, he must choose which galaxy, which star, which planet, what species, what race, where to be born, which parents to have, and so on. In the end, he chooses the life he’d just come from, except that he wants to be born a girl this time. To see what it was like.
Needless to say, this book was a far cry from what I’d been taught in Bible school, or what I’d heard in church every Sunday. Reincarnation? I didn’t know what the word meant at the time, but I did understand that it presented conflict with the Catholic Church. I also understood that I liked this concept better. Reaching back as far as I can into those early childhood memories... I don’t remember ever believing in God or hell. I remember believing in heaven.
Also, most three-year-olds don’t really think about life beyond what’s going on in their own house. I don’t know if I did then, but I had the book memorized when I turned four and I distinctly remember laying awake thinking about my house, my street, my town, my state, my country, continent, planet, solar system, galaxy, universe... and then I would do it all in reverse, trying to picture which star I would choose, and if I’d end up on Earth, and whether I would still choose Michigan. I used to play a game with my dad, it was “roll the ball” except the ball was a globe, and he would choose a country, roll it to me and then I’d have to find it, choose another one, roll it back, and so on. We probably didn’t play that until I was six or seven, but when I think of the globe, I think of The Mountains of Tibet.
So from an early age I understood that not everyone believed what the Bible taught, that the world was big and there were many different kinds of people in it, and that it was okay to want to be a different gender. I know gender isn’t the focus of the book, but it did shape the way I thought about boys and girls.
Plus, it’s just a fun story, with great pictures. It is by far my favorite children’s book, even over “The Hungry Hungry Lion”, which I made my mom read to me at least three times a day in the years preceding kindergarten.
================================== ================================== ================================== ==================================
In other news...
I still feel stuck. Never in my life have I been goal-less. I don’t know what to do with myself, and the more I brainstorm new goals, the more stuck I feel. Tis frustrating to the extreme.
Do not mistake my frustration with depression, however. In my day to day life I’m actually pretty happy. I’m going to see Alan tomorrow, Colleen over the weekend, and Hank on Monday. I’m pretty excited about all three, although I will say I hope Chellie doesn’t bail on me for the Hank thing, because that might be awkward...
Yeah. Youtube-wise, life is great. Great community, great commenters for the most part, great friends. I feel, for the most part... accepted. I have not yet gotten to the point where I’ll private my videos until revenue sharing is enabled to maximize the revenue views, which I think is good. I am definitely past the point where I watch all of my subscriptions though...
Hm.
I miss having friends to hang out with IRL. I only know one person in this town, and she’s working full time, dancing part time, has a boyfriend and still reserves time for family. So we don’t see each other often.
Maybe I’ll meet some cool cats in my classes next week.
For now, I need to go to bed.
Love,
Monica
Reading children’s books always reminds me of the one book that I feel like I can honestly say changed the way I perceived the world, as a child. It’s called, The Mountains of Tibet, and it was written and illustrated by Mordicai Gerstein.
[I just took a break to see if I could email this author and ask for permission to read his book on YT and possibly make a flash video, but all I’m seeing are his agents. I will look into this further. I’ve been wanting to do this since before I knew what YouTube was.]
The Mountains of Tibet is a story about a woodcutter who has always dreamed of visiting faraway places, but never left his valley. He dies, and he is given the opportunity to either go to heaven, or choose to live another life, any life, anywhere in the universe.
He chooses to live another life, and through the course of the book, he must choose which galaxy, which star, which planet, what species, what race, where to be born, which parents to have, and so on. In the end, he chooses the life he’d just come from, except that he wants to be born a girl this time. To see what it was like.
Needless to say, this book was a far cry from what I’d been taught in Bible school, or what I’d heard in church every Sunday. Reincarnation? I didn’t know what the word meant at the time, but I did understand that it presented conflict with the Catholic Church. I also understood that I liked this concept better. Reaching back as far as I can into those early childhood memories... I don’t remember ever believing in God or hell. I remember believing in heaven.
Also, most three-year-olds don’t really think about life beyond what’s going on in their own house. I don’t know if I did then, but I had the book memorized when I turned four and I distinctly remember laying awake thinking about my house, my street, my town, my state, my country, continent, planet, solar system, galaxy, universe... and then I would do it all in reverse, trying to picture which star I would choose, and if I’d end up on Earth, and whether I would still choose Michigan. I used to play a game with my dad, it was “roll the ball” except the ball was a globe, and he would choose a country, roll it to me and then I’d have to find it, choose another one, roll it back, and so on. We probably didn’t play that until I was six or seven, but when I think of the globe, I think of The Mountains of Tibet.
So from an early age I understood that not everyone believed what the Bible taught, that the world was big and there were many different kinds of people in it, and that it was okay to want to be a different gender. I know gender isn’t the focus of the book, but it did shape the way I thought about boys and girls.
Plus, it’s just a fun story, with great pictures. It is by far my favorite children’s book, even over “The Hungry Hungry Lion”, which I made my mom read to me at least three times a day in the years preceding kindergarten.
================================== ================================== ================================== ==================================
In other news...
I still feel stuck. Never in my life have I been goal-less. I don’t know what to do with myself, and the more I brainstorm new goals, the more stuck I feel. Tis frustrating to the extreme.
Do not mistake my frustration with depression, however. In my day to day life I’m actually pretty happy. I’m going to see Alan tomorrow, Colleen over the weekend, and Hank on Monday. I’m pretty excited about all three, although I will say I hope Chellie doesn’t bail on me for the Hank thing, because that might be awkward...
Yeah. Youtube-wise, life is great. Great community, great commenters for the most part, great friends. I feel, for the most part... accepted. I have not yet gotten to the point where I’ll private my videos until revenue sharing is enabled to maximize the revenue views, which I think is good. I am definitely past the point where I watch all of my subscriptions though...
Hm.
I miss having friends to hang out with IRL. I only know one person in this town, and she’s working full time, dancing part time, has a boyfriend and still reserves time for family. So we don’t see each other often.
Maybe I’ll meet some cool cats in my classes next week.
For now, I need to go to bed.
Love,
Monica
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Book Update
It's been a month since I posted about the Book Challenge, so here's what I've been up to for the last few weeks. Bear in mind it's been Christmastime, so I haven't gotten a ton of reading done.
4. The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold (audiobook)
I listened to this when I drove to Michigan & back for Thanksgiving. It was a good audiobook for driving; Alice Sebold narrated the audiobook and I liked her voice. She read very well, in a way that only an author can read her own work properly. The story itself was good, too. I became interested in the character, a 14-year-old girl who had been raped/murdered and was watching her family and friends from heaven. It was an interesting premise, and although I don't buy into the whole "heaven" thing, it was presented in a way that made me accept it. It's more girly/romantic than my usual fare, but in a way those qualities made it refreshing.
5. The Almost Moon, by Alice Sebold (audiobook)
Same author, different reader for the audiobook. I started listening to this on my way back to Boston after Thanksgiving, but didn't finish it... and honestly didn't care to, until my drive back to Michigan a few weeks later. It's not that it wasn't well written or well read, because it was... it was just of a subject matter that I was not interested in, whatever. It's about a woman who kills her sick old mother in a moment of frustration. The story takes place over the next 24 hours or so, maybe longer. I think that's actually what I didn't like about it. It spent so many pages talking about such a short amount of time. It really dove into the way the woman was feeling and reacting to what she'd done, and it did so beautifully, but not in a way that really pulled me in. I don't like the tv show "24"... I guess I would rather have story than excessive detail. That having been said, this book was strongly recommended to me by a friend, and I've heard great things about it... it is good... just not really for me.
6. Oryx & Crake, by Margaret Atwood
This may very well end up being my favorite book of the year. I LOVE dystopian societies, or stories about the future. 1984, Brave New World, The Giver... all on my top ten favorite books. I don't know what it is about them that pulls me in, but I LOVE IT! Anyway, Oryx and Crake deals with what happens when humans start to play God, purposefully mutating animals to do certain jobs or fulfill certain tasks, to the point where Crake ends up creating an entire new species of humanity... I won't give the whole story away, but it was right up my alley. I loved every second of it. This one I will read over and over again. Five stars. Fo sho!
7. The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak
So very beautifully written. Amazing. My first time through I read primarily for the story, but I have a feeling I'll read it again next year simply for the poetry. What a change from most YA fiction books! I hope English teachers everywhere are making their students read this. It's a little long, but there is So Much in it! I can definitely see why it won the Printz. Roughly, it's about a little girl in Nazi Germany who loves to read. I won't say anything else... I wouldn't want to ruin a single element of the book. Zusak's characters felt so real. It was incredible, and I hope I never forget the way he talked about the sky.
Currently reading:
The Year of Living Biblically, by AJ Jacobs (pg 29)
Obama's Challenge, by Robert Kuttner (pg 20)
By my calculations, I'm two books behind. O_o Uh oh! I better start reading!
In other news, life has been pretty good... not very eventful. I've been chatting more with Hank lately and a lot more with Alan and Liz. It's nice to make some new friends.
I still need to sign up for classes for this term. I can't apply for jobs until I know my schedule, and I also need to finally (dum dum DUM!!....) tell Greg I left Brandeis. I'm positively -dreading- this conversation. But I need him as a reference, so it's gonna have to happen.
Eek.
We'll see what happens. That's kinda been my mantra these days. I don't know what's going on in any aspect of my life, which is more than a little disconcerting. I'm writing a song for the ukulele though, which is going surprisingly well. I've got everything written, I just need to up my skillz so I can play it for YouTube. So far I haven't been able to get through it. It'll be at least a week before I can, probably.... but that's not bad seeing as I only started playing a week ago. :-)
xoxo
Monica
4. The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold (audiobook)
I listened to this when I drove to Michigan & back for Thanksgiving. It was a good audiobook for driving; Alice Sebold narrated the audiobook and I liked her voice. She read very well, in a way that only an author can read her own work properly. The story itself was good, too. I became interested in the character, a 14-year-old girl who had been raped/murdered and was watching her family and friends from heaven. It was an interesting premise, and although I don't buy into the whole "heaven" thing, it was presented in a way that made me accept it. It's more girly/romantic than my usual fare, but in a way those qualities made it refreshing.
5. The Almost Moon, by Alice Sebold (audiobook)
Same author, different reader for the audiobook. I started listening to this on my way back to Boston after Thanksgiving, but didn't finish it... and honestly didn't care to, until my drive back to Michigan a few weeks later. It's not that it wasn't well written or well read, because it was... it was just of a subject matter that I was not interested in, whatever. It's about a woman who kills her sick old mother in a moment of frustration. The story takes place over the next 24 hours or so, maybe longer. I think that's actually what I didn't like about it. It spent so many pages talking about such a short amount of time. It really dove into the way the woman was feeling and reacting to what she'd done, and it did so beautifully, but not in a way that really pulled me in. I don't like the tv show "24"... I guess I would rather have story than excessive detail. That having been said, this book was strongly recommended to me by a friend, and I've heard great things about it... it is good... just not really for me.
6. Oryx & Crake, by Margaret Atwood
This may very well end up being my favorite book of the year. I LOVE dystopian societies, or stories about the future. 1984, Brave New World, The Giver... all on my top ten favorite books. I don't know what it is about them that pulls me in, but I LOVE IT! Anyway, Oryx and Crake deals with what happens when humans start to play God, purposefully mutating animals to do certain jobs or fulfill certain tasks, to the point where Crake ends up creating an entire new species of humanity... I won't give the whole story away, but it was right up my alley. I loved every second of it. This one I will read over and over again. Five stars. Fo sho!
7. The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak
So very beautifully written. Amazing. My first time through I read primarily for the story, but I have a feeling I'll read it again next year simply for the poetry. What a change from most YA fiction books! I hope English teachers everywhere are making their students read this. It's a little long, but there is So Much in it! I can definitely see why it won the Printz. Roughly, it's about a little girl in Nazi Germany who loves to read. I won't say anything else... I wouldn't want to ruin a single element of the book. Zusak's characters felt so real. It was incredible, and I hope I never forget the way he talked about the sky.
Currently reading:
The Year of Living Biblically, by AJ Jacobs (pg 29)
Obama's Challenge, by Robert Kuttner (pg 20)
By my calculations, I'm two books behind. O_o Uh oh! I better start reading!
In other news, life has been pretty good... not very eventful. I've been chatting more with Hank lately and a lot more with Alan and Liz. It's nice to make some new friends.
I still need to sign up for classes for this term. I can't apply for jobs until I know my schedule, and I also need to finally (dum dum DUM!!....) tell Greg I left Brandeis. I'm positively -dreading- this conversation. But I need him as a reference, so it's gonna have to happen.
Eek.
We'll see what happens. That's kinda been my mantra these days. I don't know what's going on in any aspect of my life, which is more than a little disconcerting. I'm writing a song for the ukulele though, which is going surprisingly well. I've got everything written, I just need to up my skillz so I can play it for YouTube. So far I haven't been able to get through it. It'll be at least a week before I can, probably.... but that's not bad seeing as I only started playing a week ago. :-)
xoxo
Monica
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
John's 2008 Bests, very quickly
From John, again:
Best Book I Read That You Didn't Read:
Far and away Oryx and Crake, by Margaret Atwood.
Also Candy Girl, by Diablo Cody (who wrote the Juno screenplay)
and Harry, A History, by Melissa Anelli. (because I mean, come on.)
Best Failure to Apprehend the Other Complexly:
John McCain for cynically thinking that women will vote for women because they are women.
I'm gonna have to agree with that choice.
Best Brotherhood 2.0 spinoff:
Clearly, shortsisters756! :-P
Best New Discovery about Indianapolis:
John and Sarah live there!
Best Part of the 2008 Tour de Nerdfighting:
Seeing how happy John & Hank looked.
Things in 2008 I Am Most Likely to Bore My Future Children About:
1. Taking my show on the road and winning awards against grad students when I was still an undergrad. ^_^ I will never forget how my set looked on that stage.
2. All those frikkin interviews at all those schools. Toughest choice of my LIFE.
3. YouTube, and going from fan to friend. Oh the magic of Internet.
Quick reflection on 2008, before I get in the car to Fort Wayne, IN in five minutes:
This year feels like it was split into two parts: Before YouTube, and After YouTube
BYT: I lived in Kalamazoo, was finishing my BA, was exceedingly happy with every aspect of my life except the roommate situation. I was watching YTers, but not participating.
AYT: I started making video blogs, moved to Boston, started (and subsequently quit) my MFA program, got partnered by YT, and am kinda friends with the people I'd admired.
There's a lot more to it than that, but I have to go!
Oh!
Current books:
-Obama's Challenge, Robert Kuttner
-The Year of Living Biblically, AJ Jacobs
I'll post my thoughts on the last few books I've read sometime later this week!
-Monica
Best Book I Read That You Didn't Read:
Far and away Oryx and Crake, by Margaret Atwood.
Also Candy Girl, by Diablo Cody (who wrote the Juno screenplay)
and Harry, A History, by Melissa Anelli. (because I mean, come on.)
Best Failure to Apprehend the Other Complexly:
John McCain for cynically thinking that women will vote for women because they are women.
I'm gonna have to agree with that choice.
Best Brotherhood 2.0 spinoff:
Clearly, shortsisters756! :-P
Best New Discovery about Indianapolis:
John and Sarah live there!
Best Part of the 2008 Tour de Nerdfighting:
Seeing how happy John & Hank looked.
Things in 2008 I Am Most Likely to Bore My Future Children About:
1. Taking my show on the road and winning awards against grad students when I was still an undergrad. ^_^ I will never forget how my set looked on that stage.
2. All those frikkin interviews at all those schools. Toughest choice of my LIFE.
3. YouTube, and going from fan to friend. Oh the magic of Internet.
Quick reflection on 2008, before I get in the car to Fort Wayne, IN in five minutes:
This year feels like it was split into two parts: Before YouTube, and After YouTube
BYT: I lived in Kalamazoo, was finishing my BA, was exceedingly happy with every aspect of my life except the roommate situation. I was watching YTers, but not participating.
AYT: I started making video blogs, moved to Boston, started (and subsequently quit) my MFA program, got partnered by YT, and am kinda friends with the people I'd admired.
There's a lot more to it than that, but I have to go!
Oh!
Current books:
-Obama's Challenge, Robert Kuttner
-The Year of Living Biblically, AJ Jacobs
I'll post my thoughts on the last few books I've read sometime later this week!
-Monica
Thursday, December 04, 2008
I Liked to Astonish Him
I’m back in Boston, not for very long. I have about a week to pack up everything I own again. For reasons unknown to me, I haven’t started packing, despite having been home for a day and a half... I still need to inform my landlady of my pending move. The fact that I haven’t told her is unfair to her, but I’ve been waiting to tell her in person, and we have strangely opposite schedules. I will have to write her a note.
I got a surprise phone call from an ex on Tuesday. I don’t even have his real name in my phone, just the old screen name he used to use on ICQ. He probably still uses it, come to think of it. I remember before we started dating, I asked him his ICQ number and he rattled it off quickly, jokingly, ten or twelve digits, knowing I didn’t have a pen or a piece of paper at hand, and then ran off to class. Later he tried to slip me a piece of paper -- “my ICQ number, if you still want to chat” -- I smiled at him and recited the numbers from memory. I still wonder if my capacity for holding numbers in my head, my sense of patterns, or my spacial awareness was what really intrigued him the most about me.
There was a time once when I was sorting pennies by year -- he was doing something else at the table, I don’t remember what -- he looked up and noticed that after I laid a penny on the table, I never had to move it to fit another into the timeline. They all fit perfectly, end to end, even with gaps as big as fourteen years, there was the perfect amount of space between for thirteen pennies, and no system of measurement other than my eyes. I remember liking the astonishment on his face. I liked to surprise him with strange talents.
In some ways, I wonder if our relationship failed because I ran out of ways to intrigue him, and I spent more time trying to invent new things than I did trying to understand him or the way we were together. The penny thing became a party trick, something he showed off to his friends and family.
Looking back on it six years later... I realize we were both depressed, and we both reacted to our depression in ways that became harmful to the other person. We didn’t part on a good note, and he has remained the only ex to evoke the adrenaline commonly associated with the decision to fight or to flee.
So when my phone rang, I was startled. I answered, glad to be alone in the house, and my voice sounded strangely casual. He also sounded casual. Apparently, this was to be a phone call during which we both pretended that there hadn’t been six years since our last conversation. (Which, in fact, there had not. We had an accidental run-in last June at our favorite coffee place, which resulted in about 30 minutes of awkward conversation. I was very glad to have K there with me; two against one made it much easier not to run away.)
At first there didn’t really seem to be a purpose to his calling me, but after a while I detected a faint note of apology in his tone. He mentioned finding notes from when we were dating, which I am exceedingly embarrassed about, and even came close to apologizing for -- some of them were just, well, scary, and I regret them. But he went on to say he was reminded of our relationship, and how it changed him. He mentioned playing games and manipulating people, and how after we broke up he decided not to play the games anymore, to go through an ‘unlearning’ of sorts.
It was the closest thing to an apology I’ve ever heard from him, and I have to say, even six years later... it does make me feel better. I mean, all these years I’ve sort of looked at our downward spiral as being a sort of mutual failure, but I never knew how he felt about it. I always sort of thought he blamed the whole thing on me.
So, yeah. That gave me a lot to think about on my drive back.
But being who I am, I called him today. I don’t know if this was from a desire to become friends or just the need to speak on my own terms. He didn’t answer right away, and after three rings I hung up, chastising myself for being so... I don’t even know what adjective to use. I typed “stupid”, then “optimistic”, then “needy”, then “masochistic”...but none of those words are the right word. “Friendly”, perhaps. Why on earth should I make an effort to be friendly? Why should I let one hint of an apology erase everything I still know and fear?
He called me back when he was out of work; he saw he’d missed a call. We talked for about a half an hour, which was surprisingly nice, friendly, and not nearly as strange as I’d thought it would be. It was almost like talking to an old friend. The topic of his current girlfriend was a weird one. I didn’t feel the least bit jealous, but I did feel cautious about saying anything about her. I don’t know her. (But he doesn’t seem to like her... although that could just be him trying not to make me feel weird. Which is weird.)
I wanted to write about this on Tuesday, but it was too fresh and I didn’t know what to say. I’m glad I waited until after this second conversation, though it did end up being much longer than I’d anticipated. Who knew I had this many thoughts on the topic?
I hope this entire blog doesn’t become about men. How pitiful that would be! (Especially considering the fact that there are absolutely NO romantic prospects on the horizon. I mean, sexual prospects, sure, but... haha.) I’m glad to be blogging again. More soon.
Love,
Monica
PS: I am currently reading The Tales of Beedle the Bard, by JK Rowling, Oryx & Crake, by Maragaret Atwood, and The Almost Moon, by Alice Sebold.
PPS: It’s Thursday evening, now. I haven’t had consistent internet since I got back yesterday morning, so I’m not sure when I’ll actually be posting this.
I got a surprise phone call from an ex on Tuesday. I don’t even have his real name in my phone, just the old screen name he used to use on ICQ. He probably still uses it, come to think of it. I remember before we started dating, I asked him his ICQ number and he rattled it off quickly, jokingly, ten or twelve digits, knowing I didn’t have a pen or a piece of paper at hand, and then ran off to class. Later he tried to slip me a piece of paper -- “my ICQ number, if you still want to chat” -- I smiled at him and recited the numbers from memory. I still wonder if my capacity for holding numbers in my head, my sense of patterns, or my spacial awareness was what really intrigued him the most about me.
There was a time once when I was sorting pennies by year -- he was doing something else at the table, I don’t remember what -- he looked up and noticed that after I laid a penny on the table, I never had to move it to fit another into the timeline. They all fit perfectly, end to end, even with gaps as big as fourteen years, there was the perfect amount of space between for thirteen pennies, and no system of measurement other than my eyes. I remember liking the astonishment on his face. I liked to surprise him with strange talents.
In some ways, I wonder if our relationship failed because I ran out of ways to intrigue him, and I spent more time trying to invent new things than I did trying to understand him or the way we were together. The penny thing became a party trick, something he showed off to his friends and family.
Looking back on it six years later... I realize we were both depressed, and we both reacted to our depression in ways that became harmful to the other person. We didn’t part on a good note, and he has remained the only ex to evoke the adrenaline commonly associated with the decision to fight or to flee.
So when my phone rang, I was startled. I answered, glad to be alone in the house, and my voice sounded strangely casual. He also sounded casual. Apparently, this was to be a phone call during which we both pretended that there hadn’t been six years since our last conversation. (Which, in fact, there had not. We had an accidental run-in last June at our favorite coffee place, which resulted in about 30 minutes of awkward conversation. I was very glad to have K there with me; two against one made it much easier not to run away.)
At first there didn’t really seem to be a purpose to his calling me, but after a while I detected a faint note of apology in his tone. He mentioned finding notes from when we were dating, which I am exceedingly embarrassed about, and even came close to apologizing for -- some of them were just, well, scary, and I regret them. But he went on to say he was reminded of our relationship, and how it changed him. He mentioned playing games and manipulating people, and how after we broke up he decided not to play the games anymore, to go through an ‘unlearning’ of sorts.
It was the closest thing to an apology I’ve ever heard from him, and I have to say, even six years later... it does make me feel better. I mean, all these years I’ve sort of looked at our downward spiral as being a sort of mutual failure, but I never knew how he felt about it. I always sort of thought he blamed the whole thing on me.
So, yeah. That gave me a lot to think about on my drive back.
But being who I am, I called him today. I don’t know if this was from a desire to become friends or just the need to speak on my own terms. He didn’t answer right away, and after three rings I hung up, chastising myself for being so... I don’t even know what adjective to use. I typed “stupid”, then “optimistic”, then “needy”, then “masochistic”...but none of those words are the right word. “Friendly”, perhaps. Why on earth should I make an effort to be friendly? Why should I let one hint of an apology erase everything I still know and fear?
He called me back when he was out of work; he saw he’d missed a call. We talked for about a half an hour, which was surprisingly nice, friendly, and not nearly as strange as I’d thought it would be. It was almost like talking to an old friend. The topic of his current girlfriend was a weird one. I didn’t feel the least bit jealous, but I did feel cautious about saying anything about her. I don’t know her. (But he doesn’t seem to like her... although that could just be him trying not to make me feel weird. Which is weird.)
I wanted to write about this on Tuesday, but it was too fresh and I didn’t know what to say. I’m glad I waited until after this second conversation, though it did end up being much longer than I’d anticipated. Who knew I had this many thoughts on the topic?
I hope this entire blog doesn’t become about men. How pitiful that would be! (Especially considering the fact that there are absolutely NO romantic prospects on the horizon. I mean, sexual prospects, sure, but... haha.) I’m glad to be blogging again. More soon.
Love,
Monica
PS: I am currently reading The Tales of Beedle the Bard, by JK Rowling, Oryx & Crake, by Maragaret Atwood, and The Almost Moon, by Alice Sebold.
PPS: It’s Thursday evening, now. I haven’t had consistent internet since I got back yesterday morning, so I’m not sure when I’ll actually be posting this.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Books I've Read Recently
Feed, by MT Anderson (finished this evening)
I didn't think it would end the way it did, but I was glad for it. I felt like I agreed with the author on the basic idea of the book. American culture, more and more each day, teaches us to be consumers, not humans. People -are- losing themselves in what they buy, and in the act of buying. Just the other day, a close friend said to me, "I went to VS and bought nice new bras. I was sad and just needed a pick-me-up." I wasn't surprised at the action, just at her readiness to admit the reason behind it.
Anyway, I'm glad I read it because I think it has good/scary ideas and an interesting premise, but I won't say I liked it. The language got in the way, for me. It was intriguing, couldn't have been written any other way, and I understand why it was written in that style. I just didn't like it. The dehumanization of every single American scared me. The adults sound just as stupid as their idiot children. Friends are easily bought and even more easily discarded when they show signs of their humanity. It was so sad.
The Beautiful Miscellaneous, by Dominic Smith (finished yesterday)
A boy who cannot live up to his father's dreams.
I liked the way this was written. I like the poetry inherent in synaesthesia, which is why I bought the book in the first place. After having finished it, I can say I'm glad I read this book now. I think I would have gotten something different out of this book if I'd read it at a different time in my life, but right now what I got out of it is that as humans we need to have the ability to trust ourselves. To trust in ourselves. The path is never clear, and no matter how much we wish we could will it into being, there's no way to know what is in store for us.
Nathan (our protagonist) is nearly the polar opposite of Titus (of Feed). Nathan spends the entire book thinking, feeling, and wishing. For Titus, it is hard to think, he tries not to feel, and there is no point in wishing, since the second he wishes for something, he has it. They could learn a lesson from one another -- Nathan needs to relax a little, stop putting so much pressure on himself, and Titus could use a little motivation.
They'd hate each other in the beginning, but I think they'd be friends.
Harry, a History, by Melissa Anelli (finished last week)
Melissa started following me on Twitter today. She's my facebook friend and although I've never met her, I feel like I know her after having read this book. I feel like we would be friends.
It was a great book. Wonderful book. I cried, I laughed, I cried some more... it made me miss Harry Potter and want to read it all over again (which I'm sure I will soon) and it made me feel so incredibly lucky to have been a part of the HP phenomenon. I mean... I want to have kids for the sole purpose of being able to introduce them to Harry Potter. (Not anytime soon... no worries.) I miss it so much, all of the speculation, theories, debates... I was glad to read this book and re-live it through Melissa's eyes, matching up her timeline against mine. (Who knew I had been reading it before she was?) If a book can be friendly, Harry, a History most certainly is.
Oryx & Crake, by Margaret Atwood (current)
I just started; I am on page 23. So far, so good.
Love,
Monica
I didn't think it would end the way it did, but I was glad for it. I felt like I agreed with the author on the basic idea of the book. American culture, more and more each day, teaches us to be consumers, not humans. People -are- losing themselves in what they buy, and in the act of buying. Just the other day, a close friend said to me, "I went to VS and bought nice new bras. I was sad and just needed a pick-me-up." I wasn't surprised at the action, just at her readiness to admit the reason behind it.
Anyway, I'm glad I read it because I think it has good/scary ideas and an interesting premise, but I won't say I liked it. The language got in the way, for me. It was intriguing, couldn't have been written any other way, and I understand why it was written in that style. I just didn't like it. The dehumanization of every single American scared me. The adults sound just as stupid as their idiot children. Friends are easily bought and even more easily discarded when they show signs of their humanity. It was so sad.
The Beautiful Miscellaneous, by Dominic Smith (finished yesterday)
A boy who cannot live up to his father's dreams.
I liked the way this was written. I like the poetry inherent in synaesthesia, which is why I bought the book in the first place. After having finished it, I can say I'm glad I read this book now. I think I would have gotten something different out of this book if I'd read it at a different time in my life, but right now what I got out of it is that as humans we need to have the ability to trust ourselves. To trust in ourselves. The path is never clear, and no matter how much we wish we could will it into being, there's no way to know what is in store for us.
Nathan (our protagonist) is nearly the polar opposite of Titus (of Feed). Nathan spends the entire book thinking, feeling, and wishing. For Titus, it is hard to think, he tries not to feel, and there is no point in wishing, since the second he wishes for something, he has it. They could learn a lesson from one another -- Nathan needs to relax a little, stop putting so much pressure on himself, and Titus could use a little motivation.
They'd hate each other in the beginning, but I think they'd be friends.
Harry, a History, by Melissa Anelli (finished last week)
Melissa started following me on Twitter today. She's my facebook friend and although I've never met her, I feel like I know her after having read this book. I feel like we would be friends.
It was a great book. Wonderful book. I cried, I laughed, I cried some more... it made me miss Harry Potter and want to read it all over again (which I'm sure I will soon) and it made me feel so incredibly lucky to have been a part of the HP phenomenon. I mean... I want to have kids for the sole purpose of being able to introduce them to Harry Potter. (Not anytime soon... no worries.) I miss it so much, all of the speculation, theories, debates... I was glad to read this book and re-live it through Melissa's eyes, matching up her timeline against mine. (Who knew I had been reading it before she was?) If a book can be friendly, Harry, a History most certainly is.
Oryx & Crake, by Margaret Atwood (current)
I just started; I am on page 23. So far, so good.
Love,
Monica
John's Survey
Does anyone know how to hide this behind a link? I used to love doing that in livejournal... that way surveys take up one line and don't get in the way of the actual blog. Anyway, no more surveys, I promise.
1. What's your name?
Monica, Little One, ShortMonica, mysterialite....
2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
Pajamas
3. Last thing you ate?
Mini bacon cheeseburgers. Yum!!
4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
Antarctica. I don't hold grudges against restaurants. Just continents.
5. I say Shotgun, you say:
Race you!
6. Last person you hugged?
Dad after lunch.
7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
Yes. Too bad for them! Hahahaha....
8. Would you date anyone you met online?
Only if they were within driving distance.
9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
My height. It sets me apart.
10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
I went out for lunch today...but dinner? Um... I guess the '99 in Waltham, MA.
11. Who is your best friend?
Zac, Colleen, Kailen.
12. What time of the day is it?
3:10pm
13. Who/What made you angry today?
I haven't been angry yet today.
14. Baseball or Football?
If I had to choose, I suppose football is the less boring of two evils.
15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes! Summer of '06 in Lake Michigan under a mostly-full moon... we were caught by the police, who gave me (the only minor) a breathalyzer which obviously didn't work because it read 0.00 when I blew into it. *laughs* and Lora accidentally threw her panties into the woods instead of the liquor. What a great night.
16. Favorite type of Food?
Pasta!
17. Favorite holiday:
I'm not really big on holidays. I like snow and family, which means Christmas, and I like bonfires and friends, which means Independence Day, and I like parties and costumes, which means Halloween.
18. Do you download music:
Not illegally.
19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Yes.
20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
I am not a fan of any tattoos. I've never met an old person who didn't regret getting one.
21. Would you date the person who posted this?
Uh, considering the fact that he's happily married to a mythological creature... No!
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Yes. ^_^
23. Do you love anyone?
I love lots of people.
24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
No.
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No.
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
I think so. Not very white waters, but like... medium white waters.
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Yes. It's not really all that uncommon, actually. Unfortunately.
28. How many pets do you have?
One, but I live with more.
29. Have you met a real redneck?
You have obviously never met my relatives.
30. How is the weather right now?
Snow!!! *happy dance*
31. What are you listening to right now?
The computer behind me keeps fanning itself periodically.
32. What is your current favorite song?
"Effington", Ben Folds
33. What was the last movie you watched?
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
34. Do you wear contacts?
Yes.
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
My dad took me to Applebee's for lunch. It was nice.
36. What are you afraid of?
Failure.
37. How many piercings have you had?
Just my ears. I had my cartilage in my left ear pierced in high school, but it's scarred over since then.
38. What piercings do you want?
I'm pretty content with the ones I have.
39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
I can do pretty much anything I set my mind to.
40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Triple Grande Non-Fat White Mocha with Whip!
41. What Magazines are you reading?
American Theatre, Live Design, Projection Lights & Staging News, Lighting & Sound, Newsweek, (and People...my guilty pleasure.)
42. Have you ever fired a gun:
No. I'm pretty sure it would knock me over.
43. Are you missing someone?
I can always think of someone to miss.
44. Favorite TV show?
House, Project Runway
45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
No!
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Yes... a LONG time ago.
47. What celeb do you look like?
I really don't.
48. Who would you like to see right now?
Zac, Rachel, Palmer...
49. Favorite movie of all time?
American Beauty, As Good As It Gets... Monty Python and the Holy Grail... Star Wars... *shrug*
50. Do you find yourself loved?
Yes.
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
See question 15.
52. Favorite smell?
Pine/snow.
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
I like butter, but not at the expense of my fingers becoming greasy. So, salt?
54. What's something that really bugs you?
Whistling. And stupidity.
55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
No.
56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
Taco Bell! There are no Taco Bells in Massachusetts, and it makes me sad.
57. What's your favorite perfume?
Uh... I hate to admit it, but I really like Fantasy, by Britney Spears.
58. Favorite baseball team?
No.
59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
No.
60. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
82 hours. Yes, I began hallucinating.
61. Last time you went bowling?
Who knows. I suck at rolling a ball in a straight line.
62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Under my desk after 82 hours of drafting and model building? I've also slept in furniture storage, on a grid 50 ft in the air, and, well, most places you find in a theatre.
63. Who was your last phone call?
I just tried calling my mom, but she didn't pick up.
64. Last time you were at work?
And getting paid? Last April.
65. What's the closest orange object to you?
Remus.
1. What's your name?
Monica, Little One, ShortMonica, mysterialite....
2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
Pajamas
3. Last thing you ate?
Mini bacon cheeseburgers. Yum!!
4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
Antarctica. I don't hold grudges against restaurants. Just continents.
5. I say Shotgun, you say:
Race you!
6. Last person you hugged?
Dad after lunch.
7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
Yes. Too bad for them! Hahahaha....
8. Would you date anyone you met online?
Only if they were within driving distance.
9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
My height. It sets me apart.
10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
I went out for lunch today...but dinner? Um... I guess the '99 in Waltham, MA.
11. Who is your best friend?
Zac, Colleen, Kailen.
12. What time of the day is it?
3:10pm
13. Who/What made you angry today?
I haven't been angry yet today.
14. Baseball or Football?
If I had to choose, I suppose football is the less boring of two evils.
15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes! Summer of '06 in Lake Michigan under a mostly-full moon... we were caught by the police, who gave me (the only minor) a breathalyzer which obviously didn't work because it read 0.00 when I blew into it. *laughs* and Lora accidentally threw her panties into the woods instead of the liquor. What a great night.
16. Favorite type of Food?
Pasta!
17. Favorite holiday:
I'm not really big on holidays. I like snow and family, which means Christmas, and I like bonfires and friends, which means Independence Day, and I like parties and costumes, which means Halloween.
18. Do you download music:
Not illegally.
19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Yes.
20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
I am not a fan of any tattoos. I've never met an old person who didn't regret getting one.
21. Would you date the person who posted this?
Uh, considering the fact that he's happily married to a mythological creature... No!
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Yes. ^_^
23. Do you love anyone?
I love lots of people.
24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
No.
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No.
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
I think so. Not very white waters, but like... medium white waters.
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Yes. It's not really all that uncommon, actually. Unfortunately.
28. How many pets do you have?
One, but I live with more.
29. Have you met a real redneck?
You have obviously never met my relatives.
30. How is the weather right now?
Snow!!! *happy dance*
31. What are you listening to right now?
The computer behind me keeps fanning itself periodically.
32. What is your current favorite song?
"Effington", Ben Folds
33. What was the last movie you watched?
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
34. Do you wear contacts?
Yes.
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
My dad took me to Applebee's for lunch. It was nice.
36. What are you afraid of?
Failure.
37. How many piercings have you had?
Just my ears. I had my cartilage in my left ear pierced in high school, but it's scarred over since then.
38. What piercings do you want?
I'm pretty content with the ones I have.
39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
I can do pretty much anything I set my mind to.
40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Triple Grande Non-Fat White Mocha with Whip!
41. What Magazines are you reading?
American Theatre, Live Design, Projection Lights & Staging News, Lighting & Sound, Newsweek, (and People...my guilty pleasure.)
42. Have you ever fired a gun:
No. I'm pretty sure it would knock me over.
43. Are you missing someone?
I can always think of someone to miss.
44. Favorite TV show?
House, Project Runway
45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
No!
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Yes... a LONG time ago.
47. What celeb do you look like?
I really don't.
48. Who would you like to see right now?
Zac, Rachel, Palmer...
49. Favorite movie of all time?
American Beauty, As Good As It Gets... Monty Python and the Holy Grail... Star Wars... *shrug*
50. Do you find yourself loved?
Yes.
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
See question 15.
52. Favorite smell?
Pine/snow.
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
I like butter, but not at the expense of my fingers becoming greasy. So, salt?
54. What's something that really bugs you?
Whistling. And stupidity.
55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
No.
56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
Taco Bell! There are no Taco Bells in Massachusetts, and it makes me sad.
57. What's your favorite perfume?
Uh... I hate to admit it, but I really like Fantasy, by Britney Spears.
58. Favorite baseball team?
No.
59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
No.
60. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
82 hours. Yes, I began hallucinating.
61. Last time you went bowling?
Who knows. I suck at rolling a ball in a straight line.
62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Under my desk after 82 hours of drafting and model building? I've also slept in furniture storage, on a grid 50 ft in the air, and, well, most places you find in a theatre.
63. Who was your last phone call?
I just tried calling my mom, but she didn't pick up.
64. Last time you were at work?
And getting paid? Last April.
65. What's the closest orange object to you?
Remus.
New Year's Survey
This is a survey you're supposed to fill out on January 1st, but I chose to fill it out on December 1st. I'm a rebel that way. I've done this survey for the last few years. It's a fun one to revisit.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I made videos which led to signing autographs. Not many, but enough to make me feel cool!
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I resolved to stop gossiping. This became quite easy after I stopped living with my then-roommate. I still gossip a little bit, but not nearly as much as I did when she was an influence in my life. I feel like I’m a better person. My resolution for 2009 is to read more. Specifically, 50 books between Nov. 1st, 2008 and Nov. 1st, 2009.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Lots of people I know gave birth, but no one I was really close to.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.
5. What countries did you visit?
I drove through Canada a few times... it’s been a slow year, travel-wise.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
an iPod? I wouldn’t know how to answer, life-wise. Things are sort of up in the air at the moment.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 8th, 2008. It was just a really fun day, start to finish. Chellie and I got up early, coffee’d up and drove to Chicago, where we saw John again and met Hank, and then met up with another nerdfighter and walked around the city looking at awesome stores before heading over to the Bean. We saw a brilliant piano concerto while we were waiting for 8:08pm to roll around, and then we participated in making a movie... and if that wasn’t enough, we then went to Reggie’s Room where I convinced the doorman to let us in early (despite a block-long line) and we danced/drank with the Green brothers and a huge crowd of Harry Potter nerds until 1:30am. It was just a fun day, and I’m glad we did it, even if we did have to pull over and sleep in the car on the way home.
(by the way, Chellie was drinking Diet Coke, because she’s 18. Just to clarify.)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Seeing the show I designed tour to the festival and win awards, getting accepted to all of my favorite grad programs, and finally getting my Bachelor of Arts. It was a good year for achievements.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Though I know it isn’t my fault that this grad program was advertised to be something it isn’t, I still feel a bit like a failure for leaving.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. Evidently I have Crohn’s Disease.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My bookshelves!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Zac. He’s been a good friend, and makes me feel good about my decisions.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I’d rather not say.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Love Boston, but good god! So expensive!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Dracula at ACTF, the NYC trip (I LOVE the president of my former university... sending all of the theatre grads to NYC for free? Seriously? So Awesome) and when the vlogbrothers featured the shortsisters on their channel. That was exciting.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Effington, from Ben Folds, What I’m Looking For, from Brendan Benson, or anything from Hank Green or Julia Nunes.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? more confused
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? poorer. Grad school will do that to you.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
more sketching, more calling friends, more traveling
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I have the tv on too much. Even when I’m not really watching anything.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Probably at my mom’s house in the morning, Dad’s in the afternoon, and at a family friend’s in the evening.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Nope!
23. How many one-night stands?
Um...
24. What was your favorite TV program?
I’m a big fan of Project Runway. and House.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone.
26. What was the best book you read?
My favorite book that I read is Paper Towns. The ARC made me feel like I was in on a secret, which made it special. I know I wouldn’t have read it if I hadn’t seen the video blogs, because it’s been like 9 years since I’ve read YA fiction, but the book really impressed me and I was glad to read it.
27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
Yo-Yo Ma! All year I’ve been listening to the Bach cello suites. I can’t stop!
28. What did you want and get?
To get into my top grad programs.
29. What did you want and not get?
A boyfriend? I didn’t exactly try to get one, though. I’m waiting for a good sale.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Did Juno come out this year?
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22. We went out to Roadhouse and everyone filled in a page of my Wreck This Journal. More people came than I expected, and I had fun.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had liked Brandeis.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
comfortable and relaxed.
34. What kept you sane?
Remus, the lion-cat who is currently purring into my lap.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don’t really do that anymore. I suppose Barack Obama received most of my attention, but not in an I-fancy-him sort of way.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The one that gets me the most riled up is the right to marry, although I wouldn’t say it is the one I think is the most important. To me, it is the silliest, which is why it stirs me. Why should people care who marries whom?
37. Who did you miss?
I miss former-roommate Zac, and I miss former-mentor Greg.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Can I just broaden this to “The YouTube Community”?
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
I can achieve the goals I set for myself. I can survive the things that stand in my way. Additionally, I am made of awesome. :-)
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I know that I just wanna look some more. And I won’t be satisfied till there’s nothing left that I haven’t tried.” -What I’m Looking For, Brendan Benson
“The flower said ‘I wish I was a tree.’ The tree said ‘I wish I could be a different kind of tree.’ The cat wished that it was a bee. The turtle wished that it could fly really high into the sky, over rooftops and then dive deep into the sea.... the rattlesnake said ‘I wish I had hands so I could hug you like a man.’ And then the cactus said, ‘Don’t you understand? My skin is covered with sharp spikes that’ll stab you like a thousand knives. A hug would be nice, but hug my flower with your eyes.’” -Tree Hugger, Kimya Dawson
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I made videos which led to signing autographs. Not many, but enough to make me feel cool!
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I resolved to stop gossiping. This became quite easy after I stopped living with my then-roommate. I still gossip a little bit, but not nearly as much as I did when she was an influence in my life. I feel like I’m a better person. My resolution for 2009 is to read more. Specifically, 50 books between Nov. 1st, 2008 and Nov. 1st, 2009.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Lots of people I know gave birth, but no one I was really close to.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.
5. What countries did you visit?
I drove through Canada a few times... it’s been a slow year, travel-wise.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
an iPod? I wouldn’t know how to answer, life-wise. Things are sort of up in the air at the moment.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 8th, 2008. It was just a really fun day, start to finish. Chellie and I got up early, coffee’d up and drove to Chicago, where we saw John again and met Hank, and then met up with another nerdfighter and walked around the city looking at awesome stores before heading over to the Bean. We saw a brilliant piano concerto while we were waiting for 8:08pm to roll around, and then we participated in making a movie... and if that wasn’t enough, we then went to Reggie’s Room where I convinced the doorman to let us in early (despite a block-long line) and we danced/drank with the Green brothers and a huge crowd of Harry Potter nerds until 1:30am. It was just a fun day, and I’m glad we did it, even if we did have to pull over and sleep in the car on the way home.
(by the way, Chellie was drinking Diet Coke, because she’s 18. Just to clarify.)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Seeing the show I designed tour to the festival and win awards, getting accepted to all of my favorite grad programs, and finally getting my Bachelor of Arts. It was a good year for achievements.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Though I know it isn’t my fault that this grad program was advertised to be something it isn’t, I still feel a bit like a failure for leaving.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. Evidently I have Crohn’s Disease.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My bookshelves!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Zac. He’s been a good friend, and makes me feel good about my decisions.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I’d rather not say.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Love Boston, but good god! So expensive!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Dracula at ACTF, the NYC trip (I LOVE the president of my former university... sending all of the theatre grads to NYC for free? Seriously? So Awesome) and when the vlogbrothers featured the shortsisters on their channel. That was exciting.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Effington, from Ben Folds, What I’m Looking For, from Brendan Benson, or anything from Hank Green or Julia Nunes.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? more confused
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? poorer. Grad school will do that to you.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
more sketching, more calling friends, more traveling
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I have the tv on too much. Even when I’m not really watching anything.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Probably at my mom’s house in the morning, Dad’s in the afternoon, and at a family friend’s in the evening.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Nope!
23. How many one-night stands?
Um...
24. What was your favorite TV program?
I’m a big fan of Project Runway. and House.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone.
26. What was the best book you read?
My favorite book that I read is Paper Towns. The ARC made me feel like I was in on a secret, which made it special. I know I wouldn’t have read it if I hadn’t seen the video blogs, because it’s been like 9 years since I’ve read YA fiction, but the book really impressed me and I was glad to read it.
27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
Yo-Yo Ma! All year I’ve been listening to the Bach cello suites. I can’t stop!
28. What did you want and get?
To get into my top grad programs.
29. What did you want and not get?
A boyfriend? I didn’t exactly try to get one, though. I’m waiting for a good sale.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Did Juno come out this year?
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22. We went out to Roadhouse and everyone filled in a page of my Wreck This Journal. More people came than I expected, and I had fun.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had liked Brandeis.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
comfortable and relaxed.
34. What kept you sane?
Remus, the lion-cat who is currently purring into my lap.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don’t really do that anymore. I suppose Barack Obama received most of my attention, but not in an I-fancy-him sort of way.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The one that gets me the most riled up is the right to marry, although I wouldn’t say it is the one I think is the most important. To me, it is the silliest, which is why it stirs me. Why should people care who marries whom?
37. Who did you miss?
I miss former-roommate Zac, and I miss former-mentor Greg.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Can I just broaden this to “The YouTube Community”?
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
I can achieve the goals I set for myself. I can survive the things that stand in my way. Additionally, I am made of awesome. :-)
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I know that I just wanna look some more. And I won’t be satisfied till there’s nothing left that I haven’t tried.” -What I’m Looking For, Brendan Benson
“The flower said ‘I wish I was a tree.’ The tree said ‘I wish I could be a different kind of tree.’ The cat wished that it was a bee. The turtle wished that it could fly really high into the sky, over rooftops and then dive deep into the sea.... the rattlesnake said ‘I wish I had hands so I could hug you like a man.’ And then the cactus said, ‘Don’t you understand? My skin is covered with sharp spikes that’ll stab you like a thousand knives. A hug would be nice, but hug my flower with your eyes.’” -Tree Hugger, Kimya Dawson
Hello, Internet!
I've been thinking about starting a new blog for a while now. For the last several weeks I have been setting goal after goal after goal for myself. This probably stems from the fact that I will soon be abandoning a major goal in my life: to get my MFA in Scenic Design/Scenic Art. At least, I'm putting that particular goal on hold for the moment. It's not a decision I am making happily, but I do think I will be happier for having made it.
However, this does make me feel a teeny bit like a failure, which is probably why I'm setting all sorts of crazy goals for myself. One of them is to start journaling again. One is to read 50 books between Nov. 1st 2008 and Nov. 1st 2009. One is to actually finish all the knitting projects I've started. I want to sketch more, paint more. I want to get a job (preferably at a bookstore.) I want to learn C++ and Illustrator and other codes/programs. I want to spend the next year learning what I need to before applying to film schools. Right now, the goal is USC for Animation/Digital Arts or Film/Production. That may change.
Remus wants petted, and my current book wants read. I'm going to post a survey and then I will attend to the cat and book.
Love,
Monica
However, this does make me feel a teeny bit like a failure, which is probably why I'm setting all sorts of crazy goals for myself. One of them is to start journaling again. One is to read 50 books between Nov. 1st 2008 and Nov. 1st 2009. One is to actually finish all the knitting projects I've started. I want to sketch more, paint more. I want to get a job (preferably at a bookstore.) I want to learn C++ and Illustrator and other codes/programs. I want to spend the next year learning what I need to before applying to film schools. Right now, the goal is USC for Animation/Digital Arts or Film/Production. That may change.
Remus wants petted, and my current book wants read. I'm going to post a survey and then I will attend to the cat and book.
Love,
Monica
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